Marriage Isn’t For Punks…9 Years And Still Going

Okay so I had to come up with a creative title to get you to click on this post…lol!  Did it work?? Hopefully, you’re still reading right now.  Today’s post is not going to be about style, fashion or jewelry…it’s one of those post where I sort of let my guard down and let you in on the person behind The Pink Locket (I like to do these type of posts every once in a while).

As my husband and I were getting dressed this morning, we actually had to do the math to see which wedding anniversary this year was.  It’s been 9 years already.  He jokingly said “Good I get to do one of those mushy Facebook posts on how I married my best friend 9 years ago…” I said “Ah No!”  Anyone who knows us knows were are definitely not the mushy mushy type couple.

Before writing this post I actually thought long and hard about the title and the truth really is “Marriage isn’t for punks.”  In my lifetime I’ve seen so many negative images of marriages which include (but not  limited to) judgments made on others’ relationships, husbands and wives airing their dirty laundry and private/sacred things in the public (heck some FB status posts sometimes make my own head spin), spouses making other people and things a priority over their spouse….some pretty crazy stuff overall.  Then on the flip side I’ve been honored to witness the true beauty of marriage by couples that have been married for years, especially my Aunt Zita and Uncle Bunny who have been married for ages!  When I mean ‘true beauty’ that means the flaws too.

I’ve been asked many times by friends and family “How we do it?” “What advice do I have?”  Honestly, I can’t say there’s a specific formula, each couple rocks to their own music (what works for us might not work for you), but I will say this, I was watching a clip on BMWK and I heard a couple say in a video that to truly love someone unconditionally means that when conditions are placed on your relationship you’re still able to love them the same way.   I must say that is the honest truth. Why do you think the vows say “for richer or poorer” and “in sickness and in health” ?

I decided to reveal 9 things that have gotten us this far and I’m sure it’ll get us even further (1 item for each year married), hope you enjoy!

1.  Our time, My Time, Your Time and Family Time

Our time is not to be confused with Family Time, our time is date night, whether it is group dating with other couples or just us.  My time is my time for myself (we all need this) and your time is your spouse’s time for his/herself.  We don’t feel the need to accompany each other everywhere.  Heck he likes to go to Walmart and I like to go to Target…LOL!

2. Going to be a blended family?  Accept it point blank or walk away!

If your soon to be husband/wife has a child or children from a previous relationship, you must accept the child/ren and love him/her as you would your own (yes I said LOVE them as YOUR OWN).

3.  Facing a challenge? Suck it up and work on it together!

The first person that should know about any challenges you encounter is your spouse.  Let me repeat, the FIRST person.  Your problem is also their problem.

4.  Keep outsiders OUT of your business

This includes family and friends.  Telling your family and friends means that your business will be public information…we all know how the game “telephone” works right?  Plus most times your family and friends will side with you on any issue because of alliance. You may be lucky to find that one that will give you unbiased advice, but marriage issues are to be worked out with your spouse.

5.  Communicate, Communicate, Communicate

Talk to each other about all sorts of stuff, goals, money, current events, what’s on the agenda…pick something, just don’t stop talking to each other.

6.  Find friends who are also married

Now I didn’t say cut loose your other friends who are single, but it’s great to expand your support network.  There are certain things that only another married couple will understand.

7.  There’s power in prayer…so pray for each other and with each other

I don’t think of myself as a religious person, but I do believe in the power of prayer and the miracles that God will bless your marriage with and I’ve seen it first hand!

8.  Sex

Do I really have go into details with this?  All I’m going to say is like Nike..”Just do it!”  No more details are necessary…lol

9.  You marry into each others’ family

When you get married you are also marrying the family.  You will need to attend family functions such as graduations, bbq, weddings, etc;  I’ve been blessed to have married into a good family and my husband can say the same for him.

And that’s my 9!  What are some of the things that help you and your spouse or partner keep it together? Would love to hear from you!